Category: Parents

adult learner, English learner, Parents

A Mother’s Journey

CSEA Student Voice
By: Lara Talib, President of OmegaNU
My mom and I eating breakfast together while we were in Turkey

Every year since I’ve been at National University, I try to write a blog post about Women’s History Month and talk about my immigrant story and how I came to be the person I am, and every year I find it to get harder to condense and articulate. This time, I decided to change up how I wrote this post, and talk about my mother. The woman who literally spoke me back to life when I was born. 

There are a lot of things about my mom that I know, and so much more I believe I’ll never know. My mother was born in Iraq in the 70’s, she had 9 brothers and sisters, liked to read and write, was extremely smart, and easily the favorite sibling if you asked any of her siblings. She would help cook and clean for the family and was super into continuing her education. When I was younger, the coolest thing about her was that her and her siblings were an even number and split down the middle, with five boys and five girls. When I became a teenager, the coolest thing about her was that she was a rebel librarian at her University in Iraq. Now, as an adult, I really understand that the coolest thing about her is that she escaped a war she did not believe in and remained true to herself through and through. 

My dad was an optometrist, and also a rebel, so when they came for my dad to go to war, my dad said absolutely not and my parents decided to flee, knowing that my mom was pregnant with me. They walked hundreds of miles from Iraq to Iran, where I was born on the border in a small little hospital that no longer exists (it was burned down). From Iran they went to Turkey, then from Turkey, they were able to get asylum to the States. I was two by the time Asylum was granted and then we touched down in Arizona, where we stayed until I was about 5. 

My parents and I at one of the safe houses during our escape

When we got here, my mom threw herself into re-educating herself and working odd jobs to help make ends meet. My mom would work nights while my dad stayed with me, and then vice versa. When I started school, my mom also started school. She’d always valued education, and still does to this day (she’s the one that pushed for my Master’s). She took classes to learn how to speak English because her biggest fear was that she wouldn’t be able to communicate with her child if she never learned. 

When we moved to San Diego in 2002, she continued her education at the local community college, and then at SDSU where she got her Bachelor’s in Women’s Studies. This is also the time period she became pregnant and had my brother. Even while pregnant with her second kid, she continued to work odd jobs and go to school. There were times when she worked 2-3 jobs while also doing school and continuing to make time for her family. After SDSU, she found a job working for the International Rescue Committee and a job opportunity came to her, but she needed a Master’s for it. Although she didn’t get that job, it was motivation enough to get her first Master’s at Alliant University. Apparently, getting her Master’s still wasn’t enough. At this point, she was a professor at Grossmont College, teaching Arabic. A few years later,  the Arabic department wanted to start integrating the program into the high schools and she became the first Arabic teacher at the high school level in San Diego. With this, came an opportunity to go back and get a second Master’s in Teaching, which she did… At National University.

My family in Julian 2019
Meet & greet with NU President Dr. Milliron

This is just a brief overview of my mom’s background in two of the most important parts of her life; the escape from her homeland, and the education she values so much. My mom is still a teacher at two local high schools and is working to continue building the program. She is still her siblings’ favorite sister, she is still a reader and a writer. She is still a die-hard feminist, and she is still the best person I know.

Advice, Parents, Single Parent

Single parent of three kids? Haven’t set foot in a classroom in 20 years? Cristyn shares her tips for making the leap

CSEA Student Voice

Smiling white woman with red hair, in business attire
Cristyn Alspaugh, NU Scholar, Scholar of Stamina Bachelor of Business Administration

As the single parent of three preteen kids—and as someone who had not set foot in a classroom in over 20 years—I have to admit I was a little afraid to go back to school. In fact, one could say I was petrified! I had the desire to go back to school, and I knew that I needed a college education if I was going to make a better life for me and my family.  But college seemed so daunting, so impossible. How would I be able to add school to an already full schedule? I have a full–time job and my evenings were spent handling my responsibilities as a parent. My weekends were spent trying to find interesting and fun activities for my kids so that we could spend quality time together. Oh, and don’t forget cleaning the house, shopping, cooking, doctor and dentist appointments, school events, sleepovers, sports, and finding time to drink enough water! How would I ever find time for school? 

There were a thousand reasons for me not to go back to school. Time, money, my age, my insecurities about fitting in or even remembering how to be a student. I wanted to turn away. I would hear myself saying things like, “You can’t do this, it’s too hard, it’s too scary.” However, even as I heard myself piling on these negative thoughts, I could also heard my grandma’s voice in my head. Whenever I had been afraid to try something super scary (like broccoli) she would encourage me, telling me to “Be a brave girl.”  When I crossed my arms, pouted, and said “No, I can’t,” she would smile and explain that “Being brave isn’t about not being afraid. Everyone is afraid. True bravery is about being afraid but doing it anyway.” It’s funny how seemingly small lessons can have such a huge impact on our lives.  

Cristyn Alspaugh Blog Post picture 2
Cristyn & three of her biggest supporters

The encouragement and wisdom of people in my life like my Grandma helped me take the leap to return to class, and I have now been a National University Student for over a year. I was amazed by how quickly I remembered how to be a student, dusting off the cobwebs on my study skills and hitting the ground running. I don’t want you to think it has been easy: Coffee and I have become best friends, and I have had to make some sacrifices; my house is a little dirtier, my shopping lists are a little longer, and the circles under my eyes are a littler darker. However, I can gladly accept these inconveniences when I compare them to how much I want a diploma. 

Happily, and to my surprise, one sacrifice I did not have to make was spending time with my kids. While I have needed to be more strategic with my scheduling, I find that I don’t miss out on my quality time with them. In fact, since I started at National University, my kids and I have a new thing in common: We are all students! I ask them about school and what they are learning about, and they ask me the same thing. We talk about assignments we find interesting, or classes that are difficult for us. They have listened as I have read my research papers out loud, appeared in some video submissions, made unintentional appearances in collaboratives, and even gave a thumbs up to this blog post. Best of all, they are learning every day how important higher education is, and how hard work is worth it in the end.  

If you are thinking about going back to school, no matter how far away you are from a degree, you can do this! I am convinced that single parents can do anything. If we can get little disgruntled people up, ready for school, fed, and dressed in a last–minute Halloween costume made from household items before 8am, we can do anything!  Remember, being brave isn’t about not being afraid, it’s about being afraid and doing it anyway. 

Cristyn Alspaugh Blog Post picture 1
Single-parent magic: Would you have guessed that this Halloween costume was assembled with five minutes notice?

adult learner, Advice, nursing, Parents, self care

2020 Goals: Self-Care in the New Year

CSEA Student Voice

By Stacey Beaver, NU Scholar (October 2019 Cohort)
Bachelor of Science in Nursing

Smiling young white woman with brown hair in professional attire
Stacey Beaver, NU Scholar

My life as an adult learner is filled with a seemingly endless to-do list.  Day-to-day responsibilities extend well beyond reading assignments, projects, tests and clinical hours for my nursing program. Even with the help of my supportive and understanding husband Scott, between childcare drop-offs, home maintenance, laundry, and other housework, I don’t have a minute to spare.

With all of this busyness, it’s no surprise that I have not made enough time for self-care.  Self-care is emphasized over and over in my nursing program as a vital tool for managing stress, achieving a sense of calm, and re-energizing one’s self.  Between having a daughter and starting my nursing program, I had let many of my previous self-care habits fall to the wayside.  My daughter is almost two years old, so it’s been a while: Almost two years of driving by the gym I pay too much for, eating an embarrassing amount of fast food, and taking no time to indulge in the things I love most like warm baths or the sauna.  So, I am making a commitment now to treating myself better. I encourage you to join me in my first self-care change: ditching my fast food habit.

Here is how I plan to do it:

Eat Real Food:

I will try to incorporate as many unprocessed and unrefined foods into my diet as possible.  Examples include fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains.

variety of vegetables on display
Step 1: More fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains

Meal Prep:

Too often, I have used the excuse that I don’t have time to pack a lunch before I head to clinical or lecture.  Meal prepping will allow me to spend less time every day worrying about what to eat, and instead dedicate a specific time to planning and preparing meals for an entire week.

flat lay photography of three tray of foods
Step 2: Prep multiple healthy meals at once

Drink Water:

I know it’s time to ditch the super sweet coffee and soda.  It’s so easy to take in unnecessary calories and added sugar in drinks, not to mention the cost!  I have a tough time drinking plain water so I will try to dress it up with lots of ice and a sprig of fresh mint or slices of cucumber.

sliced lemon fruit in glass picher
Step 3: Get fancy to drink more water and less soda and coffee

I hope that building this habit of making my own nutritious meals will nourish my body and mind, not to mention help my pocketbook. I hope this post inspires you to join me in making this change, or to commit to your own self-care goal. While it can be hard to justice the time at first, I promise that taking care of yourself will recharge your batteries and ultimately give you more strength and time as you move through your academic program at NU.