Category: Advice

adult learner, Advice, self care, Undergraduate

Loving Yourself in the New Year

CSEA Student Voice

JD 3

J.D. Melendez

B.A. Pre-Law Studies

NU Scholar – October 2019 Cohort

close up of christmas decorations hanging
Exploring Love as a single person during the Holiday Season

Regarding that four-letter-word… LOVE

Here we are. Another holiday season, and the New Year is fast approaching. I gave up the whole “New Years’ resolution” thing a while back. Instead, I wanted to reflect on what I feel like I got right in 2019, which is LOVE. In November, I turned 38 years old, making it more than four years since I was in a committed relationship. If someone were to tell me five years ago that I’d be single and living alone with my dog Tita today, I probably would have laughed.

To be single at 38 was never my plan. More and more of my friends and family members are having children, getting married, building families, or adjusting to life with their new partners. As for me, I am instead learning the art of falling in love with who I am. I’m proud of my decision to separate from the person I am not, to move away from old behaviors that no longer honor the man I want to be. I have finalized my divorce from toxicity- both toxicity that was self-created, and the type of toxicity that I was welcoming into my life, ignoring the red flags that kept popping up everywhere. I had developed a habit of looking at those red flags, and then just painting them green. Sound familiar?

Being single by choice is not an easy thing, especially in one’s late 30s. Throughout my singleness, I continue to challenge myself to fight for my own happiness, without using another person as a crutch. By trial and by many, many errors, I have learned how to be self-sufficient, starting with something as simple as walking to the pharmacy on my own to buy flu medicine when I needed it. I forced myself to go to a movie theater by myself, to enjoy a solo steak and lobster dinner. I’ve traveled all over the world by myself (or sometimes with my dog). Through all of this, by learning how to love myself I became better equipped to love my friends for who they were, and I found myself spending time with and getting to know family members that I had rarely engaged with. I pushed myself to find a meaningful cause in my immediate area and volunteered my time and my resources to others, with no expectations or reservations. More than anything else, I started to live an authentic life; in turn, I found that others were more and more showing me who they genuinely were, with no pretense or masquerade. Traveling the world enabled me to connect with others and experience the joy of the universal language of humanity: A smile, a polite “thank you,” a nod of acknowledgment to complete strangers in the London subway, hugs from both Palestinians and Jews while in Israel, and a humble interchange of life experiences with students in China. Each time I get to experience another slice of life in a different part of the world, I come back home completely in love with humanity as a whole.

If you’re dreading the fact that you are not in an intimate relationship with someone this holiday season, please know that there are many others like us who choose to give ourselves the most valuable thing in life: Our time. You can’t get time back, you can’t promise anyone your tomorrow because there is truly no day but today. So, today, please take the time to vote for YOU, to be YOUR best advocate, and love and accept yourself unconditionally. You cannot read a book or take a course on love because it’s a spiritual journey that’s uniquely yours. You’re the author, and you have complete control of the narrative.

Perhaps you and I will meet as we travel this journey together. Work towards love, it is there for the taking. I promise you that LOVE NEVER FAILS and that it will ALWAYS be the answer!

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Excited to continue this path in 2020!
Advice

#Goals & Being a Student-Parent

CSEA Student Voice
A woman with long dark hair in professional attire against a soft-focus natural background
NU Scholar Karrie Yi shares her tips as a full-time parent, student, military veteran, and military spouse.

Karrie Yi

NU Scholars April 2019 Cohort

Bachelor of Arts in Early Childhood Education – San Diego. U.S. Navy Veteran

Every day as a mother of twin boys, a veteran, a wife to an Active Duty military service member, and a fulltime student, hard work seems to follow me like a shadow. Sometimes this shadow is friendly, and other it gets overwhelming. Hard work became a part of who I am years ago, and I have learned to embrace every challenge and view it as a self-improvement milestone. In doing so, I have learned to change my perception of this hard work from a daunting “shadow” to a softer “silhouette.” First, I start my mornings early and give myself the necessary time to fully wake up and enjoy my coffee.  This time to myself gives me the energy and focus to change my perspective on any shadows into silhouettes of opportunity. As I drink my coffee I ask myself some easy questions like “What can I do today? and “What tasks have a deadline today or coming up?” Then I ask myself my favorite question, “Was that coffee good enough to start the day?”  

Besides a decent cup of coffee in the early morning, my motivation to continue comes from my amazing family, which consists of my twin boys and my Active Duty husband (whom I met while I was also active duty). My husband and I see eye to eye on the importance of constant self-improvement and taking ownership of our lives and goals, supporting each other’s educational and career pursuits while also acting as active role models for our boys. As a family unit, we understand the level of commitment and time needed to achieve each and every family member’s individual goals and dreams. In teaching my boys at a young age, I can actively show them how the silhouettes of hard work aren’t meant to be feared, but are a natural part of life. The simple tasks that teach independence all require hard work, but also instill self-ownership in one’s actions, education, and professional life. These silhouettes push each of us to confront obstacles and to build our personal legacies. 

            I came to National University to complete a bachelor’s degree in early childhood education, with a dream of building my own child learning center from the ground up. The NU Scholars Program offers me amazing leadership development opportunities, connecting me with community leaders whom I can learn from and who can help me achieve this dream. This program also connects me with equally dedicated, talented, and likeminded peers who support me in maintaining and pushing my high standards and accomplishments. Finally, this program continually connects me with mentors who help guide me through my educational experience. I am so appreciative of National University and of the NU Scholars Program for giving me the tools that I need to start my journey as a professional and as a leader.  

Military, Navy, nursing, Parents, self care

Meet Pam: Veteran, Nurse, Parent, Student, Scholar!

CSEA Student Voice
Pam Schreurs White Coat Ceremony
Pam at her White Coat Ceremony, four months after writing this blog post – Congratulations Pam!

Pamela Schreurs

Bachelor of Science, Nursing

https://portfolium.com/PamelaSchreurs

https://www.instagram.com/pamela_schreurs_nuscholar/

Greetings! My name is Pamela and I am a mother to two wonderful children, as well as a nursing student at National University.  I am also a US Navy veteran, and my husband is currently active duty.  It can be a struggle being a full-time mom and nursing student (especially if a spouse is deployed!), but I have felt very supported since starting my journey at NU.  In my downtime I enjoy spending time with my kids, volunteering with Girl Scouts San Diego, and taking time for myself.  One big take away from nursing school has been that self-care helps make you a more present nurse and parent.  I feel blessed to have had fabulous instructors who incorporate integrative therapy into the classroom, and I am excited to weave meditation, aromatherapy, and guided breathing into not only my nursing practice, but also my home life.

In July of 2018, I was accepted into the NU Scholars Program.  Through NU Scholars, I have been able to support peers’ community service projects, and am planning my own project hosting wellness workshops for elementary-aged girls.  I will also be hosting SafeZones LGBTQ literacy training for NU staff, faculty, and students to help promote a safe and welcoming environment for all who attend NU.

The NU Scholars Program has a strong emphasis on goal-setting, and I have learned a lot about how to set and structure concrete short- and long-term goals. My short-term educational goal for this year is to fully commit myself to the last two weeks of my psychosocial nursing rotation.  This is perhaps the most important rotation in terms of therapeutic communication and empathy, and I want to absorb everything I can before beginning my next rotation.  My long-term goal is to graduate with an excellent GPA in July – nursing school is tough, but I pride myself on putting in the work I need to maintain my GPA.  I cannot wait to have my kids help me put on my white coat in a few months, it is going to be one of the best feelings in the world!  After achieving this first long-term goal, my next long-term goal is to continue my education at a master’s level, focusing on pediatric mental health.